How to Build a Growth Mindset (Even If You Think You Can’t)
The Day I Almost Quit — and What I Learned Instead
I remember the day I tried to teach myself how to sew. I had this tiny dream of making a quilt for Squish. Nothing fancy—just something stitched together with love and a bit of fabric from old shirts and baby blankets.
I watched YouTube videos. I read tutorials. I made a mess.
The first attempt? A total disaster.
The second one? Worse.
By the third day, I was this close to putting the sewing machine back in the box and telling myself, “This just isn’t for me.”
But then I heard Squish giggle from the other room, and it hit me:
I wasn’t just learning how to sew—I was learning how to try again.
That moment—quiet and small—was the beginning of my journey toward a growth mindset. Not perfection. Not even skill yet. But a belief that I could get better if I just kept going.
What Is a Growth Mindset (and Why Does It Matter)?
A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities can grow with effort, learning, and time.
It’s not about “being good” at something—it’s about believing you can get better.
For adults, this can be tough. We’ve had years of messages saying we’re “bad at math” or “not artistic” or “not smart enough.”
But that voice? It’s not truth. It’s just old.
And the good news is: you don’t have to believe it anymore.
5 Easy Steps to Build a Growth Mindset (Even If You Think You Can’t)
✨ 1. Notice Your Fixed Mindset Voice
When you mess up, what do you hear?
“I’m just not good at this.”
“See, I knew I’d fail.”
“This isn’t worth trying.”
Start paying attention. That’s your fixed mindset talking.
Awareness is the first step to change.
💡 Try this instead:
“I don’t get it yet.”
“This is hard because I’m learning.”
“Messy doesn’t mean worthless.”
✨ 2. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
We often ignore small wins and only cheer when the big goal is met.
But growth is built on tiny, everyday efforts.
Did you try something scary? Celebrate.
Did you come back to it after quitting? Celebrate.
Did you ask for help? Celebrate.
Growth doesn’t happen in leaps. It happens in inches.
✨ 3. Reframe Failure as Feedback
Instead of asking “Why did I fail?”, ask:
“What did I learn?”
“What would I try differently next time?”
“What’s one thing I did right?”
Mistakes aren’t proof you’re not good enough. They’re proof you’re growing.
✨ 4. Use “Yet” in Your Self-Talk
This is the simplest, most powerful shift:
“I’m not good at this…” → “I’m not good at this yet.”
“Yet” opens the door to possibility. It reminds your brain that the story isn’t finished.
✨ 5. Model It for the People You Love
Squish watches how I handle frustration, setbacks, and fear.
When I let myself be a beginner in front of him—when I say things like, “This is hard, but I’m going to keep trying”—I’m showing him that growth is normal.
Your kids, your friends, your community? They’re watching, too.
Being kind to yourself teaches them how to be kind to themselves.
A Loving Note to Squish
Dear Squish,
I hope you always believe you can grow. I hope you never let one bad day convince you that you aren’t smart or capable or enough.
You are allowed to be new at things. You are allowed to mess up. And you are always allowed to try again.
Watching you learn reminds me to keep learning, too.
Love always,
Mom and Dad
5 Things from Amazon to Support a Growth Mindset
(Affiliate disclaimer: This post uses affiliate links. We may make a small commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through our links. We only share products we use and love in our own home.)
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
The foundational book on growth mindset—great for adults and teens.Growth Mindset Journal for Adults
Daily reflection prompts to shift thinking and build resilience.Inspirational Wall Art - “Progress Over Perfection”
Visual daily reminder to keep going, not be perfect.Dry-Erase Learning Board
Perfect for practicing new things and making mistakes safe.Skill-Building Card Decks
Whether it’s emotional regulation, communication, or creativity—there’s a deck for it.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever told yourself, “I just can’t,” this is your gentle invitation to try anyway.
You don’t need to be brave. You don’t need to be ready.
You just need to start small, with kindness and belief that your story isn’t over yet.
Start building your growth mindset—not because you have to, but because it will carry you through so much more than any skill ever could.
And if you're doing this with your kids, you’re not just learning for yourself.
You’re showing them what becoming looks like.
